Free PDF The Man Book: Booze, Boobs and Baseball - A Kick-Ass Guide, by Otto DeFay
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The Man Book: Booze, Boobs and Baseball - A Kick-Ass Guide, by Otto DeFay
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This book contains everything you need to know to be a man. Everything. It will prepare you for every situation you can imagine, from the office to the bedroom. It will improve your life no matter what you're doing…whether you're in a bar, in a fight, in a wedding, in an argument, at a game, at work, or in a stranger's bed.
It's time to be a man. Read this book.
- Sales Rank: #1680808 in eBooks
- Published on: 2008-05-13
- Released on: 2008-05-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Otto DeFay is a free-lance writer and sports data analyst who spends most of his life on the road staying in barely decent hotels. Among his notable achievements are scoring a hole-in-one at the Russian Jack Springs Golf Course in Anchorage, Alaska and breaking three ribs during a layup in the final four seconds of his high school basketball championship. He has not dated anybody famous--yet--but he did win $17,550 once while playing blackjack in Las Vegas. The Man Book, published by St. Martin's Press, was his first book.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
A THOUSAND NAMES FOR YOUR PENIS (NOT COUNTING PENIS)Aace in the hole • acorn Andy • Adam halfpint • Admiral Winky • AIDS grenade • the Alabama blacksnake • albino cave dweller • all-day sucker • anaconda • anal impaler • anal intruder • anal spear • ankle spanker • apple-headed monster • ass blaster • ass pirate • ass wedge • auger-headed gut wrenchBbaby maker • baby’s arm holding an apple • baby’s arm in a boxing glove • bacon bazooka • bacon rod • bad boy • bagpipe • Bald Avenger • the bald-headed beauty • bald-headed giggle stick • bald-headed hermit • bald-headed Jesus • bald-headed yogurt slinger • bald-headed spunkjuice dispenser • ball buddy • baloney pony • banana • battering ram • bayonet • Bavarian beefstick • beanstalk • beard splitter • beastus maximus • beaver buster • Beaver Cleaver • bed flute • bed snake • beef baton • beef bayonet • beef bugle • beef bus • beef missile • beef soldier • beef stick • Beefy McManstick • bell rope • belly stick • best leg of three • (big) beanpole • big Jake the one-eyed snake • big Jim and the twins • big Johnson • Big Lebowski • big number one • Big Red • big rod • big uncle • biggus dickus • Bilbo Baggins • bishop • the bishop with his nice red hat • bitch blaster • bitch stick • bits and pieces • blind butler • blind snake • blood blunt • blood slug • blood sword • Blow Pop • blowtorch • blue steel • blue-veined jackhammer • blue-veined junket pumper • blue-veined piccolo • blue-veined custard chucker • blue-veiner • blunt • Bob • Bob Johnson • bobo • bone • bone phone • bone a phone • bone roller-coaster • boneless beef • boneless fish • boner • bone-her • bop gun • bottle rocket • bowlegged swamp donkey • box buster • boy brush • bradford and the pair • bratwurst • breakfast burrito • breakfast wood • broom • Brutus • bubba • bulbous big-knob • bumtickler • bush beater • bush rusher • bushwhacker • Buster Hymen • Buster McThunderstick • butt blaster • butt pirate • butter churn • butter knifeCcandy cane • caped crusader • Captain Bilbo • Captain Crook • Captain Hook • Captain Howdy • Captain Kirk • Captain Winky • carnal stump • cattle prod • cave hunter • cax • cervix crusader • cervix pounder • chancellor • the chap • Charlie Russell the one-eyed muscle • cheese staff • cherry picker • cherry-poppin’ daddy • cherry splitter • Chi Zi Wang • chick sticker • chicksicle • chief of staff • chimbo • chimney cleaner • choo-choo • choad (chode) • chorizo • chowder dumper • chubby • chubby conquistador • chum • chunk o’ love • chunder thunder • cigar • circus boy • clam digger • clam hammer • clam sticker • clit tickler • clown • the cob • cock • cock goblin • cocktus • cockus erectus • codger • colon cowboy • colon crusader • colossus • command module • coral branch • corned beef lighthouse • corn dog • cornholer • cornstalk • cornstalk cowboy • crack hunter • crack smacker • cramstick • crank • crank shaft • cream-filled meat stick • cream bandit • cream cannon • creamsicle • creamstick • cream spritzer • crimson chitterling • crimson Darth Vader • crippler • crotch cobra • crotch cowboy • crotch rocket • crotch vomiter • crushin’ Russian • the cum pump • cummingtonite • cunny-catcher • cunt caper • the cunt companion • cunt pumper • cunt rifle • cunt scrubber • Cupid’s arrow • Curious George • custard cannon • custard pump • cyclopsDdaddy long-stroke • danglin’ fury • danglin’ wang • dangling participle • dart of love • Darth Vader • Davy Crockett • deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love • demeanor • the diamond cutter • dick • Dick and his two swingers • Dick and the twins • dickimus maximus • dickory dock • dickory-smoked coal sausage • digit • diller • dilly-ho-ho • ding-a-ling • ding-dong • dingle • dingle dangle • dingledong • dinglehopper • dingus • dingy • dinky • dipstick • Dirk Diggler • divining rod • dobber • docking tube • dolphin • dong • dong-bong • dong-stick • dongle • donker • Donkey Kong • doodad • doo-dah • doodle • doodle dandy • dooker • doohickey • doppelganger • dork • doughnut holder • dribbling dart of love • dribbling dragon • Dr. Cyclops • Dr. Feelgood • Dr. Wang • Duke • dumb stick • dungula boneEearly riser • earthworm Jim • easy rider • egg roll • eight inches of throbbing pink Jesus • equipment • El Capitan • El Presidente • elastic plastic • elephant trunk • Elmer the glue shooter • Elvis • engine cranker • everlasting gob-dropper • every-other-time • excreting eel • executive staff memberFfamily jewels • fandangle • Fat Albert • fat finger • fat Johnson • fetus feeler • fiddle bow • fiddle stick • fire-breathing dragon • fire hose • fire rod • fireman Ed • firm worm • Fishhook • fishing rod • fishing tackle • flapdoodle • fleshbone • flesh bat • flesh enema • flesh flute • flesh hoagie • flesh injection • flesh maggot • flesh pistol • flesh rocket • flesh tornado • flesh trumpet • flesh twinkie • fleshy Winnebago • flip-flap • fluid spitter • foaming beef probe • foo-foo • foofer (foof) • fool sticker • footlong • fondo worm • frank’n’ beans • frankfurter • Freddy firehose • Freddy fish monger • Free Willy • frigamajig • frightful hog • fuck flute • fuck puppet • fuckpole • fuckstick • fudgepacker • full meal • fun gun • fun truncheon • fury • fuzzbusterGgadget • gag mallet • gap stopper • gash mallet • gearshift • general • German soldier • gherkin • giant-sized manthing • giggle stick • gimmer stick • Girthy McGirth • girthy sausage • giving tree • gleaming love sword • glo worm • gluestick • Godzilla • goo pipe • goose’s neck • governor • Grabthar’s hammer • Grandpa’s knee • granite edifice • gravy maker • great pyramid • grinding tool • guided muscle • gummi worm • gushin’ Prussian • gut buster • gut stick • gut tapper • gut wrench guyHhairy pencil • hair splitter • Hairy Houdini • Hairy Scary and the two bald men • ham roll • hammer of Thor • Hampton • handfucker • handgun • handwarmer • Handy Andy • hang-lo • hanging chad • hanging hag • hanging Johnny • happy worm • hard-on • hardware • Harry • Harry & the Hendersons • Harry hot dog • he-ham • he-man sword • he who must be obeyed • heat-seeking moisture missile • helmet man • Herbie • Herculean lizard • Herman the one-eyed German • Herman von Longschlongstein • hidden treasure • high pressure vein cane • his eminence • his majesty • his rig • hog • hog leg • hole cork • holy poker • holy water sprinkler • home wrecker • honeypot cleaver • honey stick • Honk the magic goose • hoo hoo • hooded warrior • hooty hoo • horse-necked clam • hose • hot beef injection • hot dog • hot popsicle • hot tamale • Hugo • humdiddler • Hung Wei Lo • hunka-hunka burnin’ love • hymen hammerIice cream machine • impregnator • incredible bulk • inflatable iron • injection erection • instant sex drive lever • Inter Cuntinental Ballistic Missile • intrusion protrusion • invincible man • iron horse • iron rod • Italian stallion • itty bitty meat • Ivan the Terrible • ivory shaftJJack in the box • jackhammer • Jake the one-eyed snake • javelin • jellyfish • jerkin’ gherkin • jibberstick • jigge...
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Knowledge for Men
By R. Howell
Otto DeFay spent years collecting data and suggestions for items to contain within this book and presents some great things that every man should know and if they don't then here is your quick reference guidebook. Included are:
Sports statistics covering every SuperBowl, World Series, NBA Finals, Stanley Cup, NASCAR finishers, Triple Crown Winners, Heavyweight Boxing champions, Tennis & Golf. Also includes MVP lists.
Playboy Playmates of the Year - all of them
Military Ranks covering Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines
Music - Greatest guitarists, best drummers, albums every guy should own, musicians who checked out early
American Serial Killers
Proper use of the F-bomb, how to call some an idiot, 1000 euphamisms and slang for male & female body parts as well as activities using them.
How to dress, proper wine selection, beer facts, Yo Mamma & Dumb Blonde jokes.
All this and much much more. It's pretty interesting and covers quite a bit. I could have went without such an extensive 1000 slang term lists but it's worth checking out and gives you quite a bit of quick reference material on sporting facts. Could possibly have been better organized but by breaking up the sports listings, you're not overwhelmed by the stats. Absolutely worth having just for the facts lists and you even get some jokes to share with your boss. Target audience is pretty straight forward... Men. Round this out with the Deadly Hippos Man: The Book and you should have it covered.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Save your money
By S. Riley
only a couple laughs in the entire book. old jokes and 'other names' for things...things you've heard many times before a long time ago. get a cheap almanac for sports stats and visit a few funny web sites to cover the 'humorous' aspects of this book.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Not da bomb, just a bomb
By Chop House Savior
This book was a huge disappointment. The lists get old very quickly, and really don't contain much useful or humorous material. You'll only get enough entertainment for one trip to the bathroom. Instead of this rag, try something like "Badass: A Relentless Onslaught of the Toughest Warlords, Vikings, Samurai, Pirates, Gunfighters, and Military Commanders to Ever Live"
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